I had to puke in a pizza box on the drive home. People saw.
Is it bad that I voted for Scott Brown because I want to fuck him?
Nah. I did too.
swear to god, just saw some chick dressed in a full chicken costume buying eggs and telling the cashier that she "just wants her babies back."
buy whatever she's on. a lot of it.
can your parents tell?
i just had a cookie in one hand and a phone in the other and tried to eat my phone...they know
I got mine. It's a truly beautiful penis. Plus he pulled his tongue muscle on my vagina.
She fuckin peed on me
Stay golden ponyboy
My logic for bringing him home was, he's in law school so odds are he wouldn't kill me.
I feel like the universe head butted me in my balls. That hungover.
.... My lady balls. Cuz I'm a lady.
I smoked out of two pipes at the same time while my friends wielded the lighters last night. It felt like I graduated to the next level of stoner.
I'm not allowed to have sex with him again. My vagina joined in on the protest. There was a petition. All my body parts signed it.
i just thought a plastic bag was my cat. i just pet a plastic bag. that high.
i dunno, a lot of my childhood feels like a drugged up fever dream
We walked 3 miles to the strip club. Stopped for roadies, it wasn't that bad.
shit... I double booked my fuck buddies
Who told you he won a fight? He slammed his face into the ground while trying to do 11 push-ups
Randomize
