Its like common courtesy of dating, the guy pays for the weed, just like dinner
If they made snuggies with a sleeve for my morning wood, id consider buying one...
dude she has hot friends.. do you want blonde brunette or red head.. maybe asian?
what is this build-a-bear? .. just gimme one thats breathing
Last night I dipped into my beer fund to pay for groceries. SINCE WHEN ARE MY PRIORITIES SO WHACK???
If after tonight I can still walk on my own, take me to another bar.
could you clean the juice and feathers off my bed I'm just not up for hangover cleaning.
I am convinced that after two dates and a few adult sleepovers that he still doesn't know my name.
your sister totally cock blocked me last night don't even think about inviting her to taco night
Can you technically cross something off your bucket list if you don't, per say, remember it....?
My heart wants him and my vagina wants him...to have a bigger dick.
Kay so its 9 am whose dumbass is gunna act sober to buy pizza rolls
Dude you promised
What can I say, I just want your vagina in my mouth.
you asked me how to turn on the ladder
There better be alcohol at this child's birthday party. Seriously not trying to be entertained by a clown while I'm still sober.
a reward? ill think of something
if its not drugs or food I swear to god ill throw a fit
Randomize
