i knew he was a douchebag when his facebook activities were "ladeis," and "gettin crunk wit ladeis"
this weekend will be like the season finale to my life
I thought we agreed I wasn't a screamer?
My rats are drinking wine. I am drinking with rats. God i am so alone.
I just found out my mom named me after her fake ID from college...
I'm drunk on a monday night. Not a good start to finals week
You started a dance party so that you could steal their vodka and shouted "sailors out!"
Why do i even want him? It's like his dick is a trophy and I need to put it on my wall of shame.
how many dildos make it a "collection?"
You'd be surprised how many calories hedonism burns.
When you get home...find me in the shower. Only safe place at the moment.
it was her dad's 50th birthday kegger. Within the first 5 minutes I got punched in the ear from an off-duty cop and smoked a joint the size of my vibrator.
oh yeah, and she got boxed-out by said cop. Then her dad turned around and high-fived him for it
You know the sex was good when he had to ask which way was north before he left.
he just left the suite without pants on wrapped in Christmas lights
I just want him to get into an accident where he's horribly disfigured but otherwise fine so he's not so freaking handsome
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