she just waddled down the stairs behind me and puked and kind of reached for me but i sped up. does that make me a bad person?
So I went home with some chick last night... I'm not sue what's worse: not getting a nut at 5am, the condom breaking and not being replaced, feeling poo when I put my finger in her but, sleeping on a heroin mattress in her living room, her swine flu coughing fit at 7am or realizing she peed the matt at 10am. Actually it was probably the fact that she continuously told me she was the classiest girl in boulder.
Its only tuesday and I need a dd home from work. This is getting too easy.
i didn't realize we were even dating until i ran out of weed
I thought of you this morning when I woke up in a bed with a girl wrapped in duct tape dressed as a coors light can.
$100 bras are my way of telling my boobs that I love and appreciate them, and all the metaphorical doors they have opened for me.
Tell Taylor to rock on. Tell her she is so beautiful that the sun shines down on her face and shows her beauty. Tell her to live on, like Martin Luther King. He'll never die. He's living his dreams.
i just googled coccaine effects on sexual performance..maybe im dating the wrong guy
I feel like shit, and I can't get the band aids off my nipples.
Is it too early in the day to ask a nipple-related question?
Apparently you can unlock an iPad by doing a line on the lock screen I'm about to bust that myth
Decided to make myself tequila gummy bears but got impatient and just drank the bowl of tequila.
i would stab him if he didn't just tell me he is a priest
All im saying is that my face might fall off.
Does the term "on fleek" apply to dicks or just eyebrows?
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