This is some kinda fucked up sordid doggy brothel peepshow bullshit.
Life lesson: using the oven as a heater= $500 electric bill
It's hard to be above the influence when you are the influence.
i'm taking a spore imprint of the mushroom we found growing in our bathroom and sending a picture to ryan. he will then be able to tell if it's trip-worthy
I feel like all of the victims from Seven. Best birthday weekend ever.
my mom found me passed out in the kitchen floor with the Brita pitcher.. Happy Mothers Day
i decided this morning while eating my breakfast of red bull and cold pizza that i should take a vow of celibacy
What's dad's email?
[email protected]
Rule 1: If any of us dies on a trip, the other two have to 'Weekend at Bernies' the shit outta that corpse...
Well I'm half drunk in a green tutu at a chipotle. So pretty good parade.
Is it illegal to hookup with your fathers god child?
If not, I can murder my liver twice...it's like a cat, it has 9 lives
The beauty of getting kicked out of college again is I can fuck my professor's brains out and she can't get fired now
First aid class means get dry humped by moderately attractive college students during heimlich maneuver training.
Hey. Did I get punched in the face last night?
Yeah. I told you I would and you didn't believe me.
Randomize
