He only uses me for sexual pleasure. The sad part is I don't even feel like a slut. I just I feel like I should just live in the top drawer of his nightstand....for free of course.
On a scale of one to trashy, how is this: Got drunk, gave a guy a hand job. In the middle of the bar
I think you broke the trashy scale
Dude, a dry wedding reception should nullify the vows, because really, without the booze, you might as well be 5 years old again and playing dress-up
I was working er so they smashed a vodka bottle over dan's head so they'd have an excuse to visit
I forgot to tell you, wear something you can puke on Saturday. We're christening this marriage with a shot of jager. NOT KIDDING.
Going to jail was so much more fun than I thought it would be. I feel like I walked away with more than just a bomb-ass mugshot, I feel like I made some life long friends.
Celebratory bar crawl?
So good news, aparently I blacked out and tried to go in the back of the mcdonalds to thank the people for makin my fries
next time im at a party and go to fist bump the dude who took my virginity two years ago PLEASE STOP ME
I greatly enjoy being related to her. Even if is it only by a penis.
Bringing families together since 1987
my whole wardrobe smells like substance abuse
Like who turns down taking a nap inside of someone in 2014.
Sooo i'm debating posing nude for the drawing and painting classes, I just wanna see if they draw my nip ring.
Currently standing at the bus stop in just a pillowcase and its fucking snowing
I used to shoot steroids in my ass but for a totally different reason
That was the first time i’ve been physically intimidated by a LinkedIn profile.
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