Oh my god you would drunk register for a marathon.
im at that stage where all she has to do is cough or something and it pisses me off
Apparently my gaydar only works on americans. Frenchie capris has two topless chicks in our kitchen making him breakfast.
I really hope your new roommate never finds out we had a threesome with a bisexual British guy in his room the night before he moved in.
It doesn't matter how many beers you've had, it's unacceptable to piss in someone's helmet after a playoff win.
He stood me up.
I'm no sure if I should be pissed or proud that he finally grew a backbone.
He drunkenly stumbled over to me and told me my "crotch looks spectacular tonight"..... i think this could work
I'm going to three dry weddings this month. I'm flashing three dry weddings this month
I'm only fucking women born in the 90s this summer
That's too much drama for once a month dick... that's in-house dick drama only
You're either getting fucked or a coupon to Friendly's. I haven't decided yet.
You screamed out "happy birthday Jesus" followed by chugging Bacardi straight out the bottle
My ass is in a myriad of pain right now
Lesson learned - Taco Bell before a long night of BDSM is a BAD idea
Explain to me again why I'm doing the walk of shame if we fucked at my house?
he told me his feelings for me AFTER sex, so that means he meant it right?
Randomize
