could you grab mr moo while you're at his apt?
you brought your stuffed animal to a booty call?
remember them days when you seriously wanted your mom to marry rev run and we would always talk shit about justine?
joeyyyy why you always taken cheeseburgers from me?!?!?!
The tricky part is not getting sand in any orifices. Or is the plural orifi? Orifi don't, we'll both be unhappy...
I am pretty sure I told him the clouds were earth's purest filtration system and that snow was the rarest and most delicious water in the world. My lips are burning because we ate so much.
The bar posted my picture because my name changes with each new fake i get. i'm getting a wig.
I can't help but be optimistic. I'm like a ball of slutty sunshine.
WHAT DO YOU MEAN I DIDN'T APOLOGIZE? THERE WAS A PEACE OFFERING MADE VIA TACO BELL.
She straight up told me, "I don't care if he films as long as he's quiet." You sure you can't find the camera?
His personality is sparkling but nothing beats his ass
I'm not sure if I should be proud of you for having morals or disappointed in you for letting your sex life get this sad.
Are you up yet? I really want to know if i tried sleeping in a field... i have the vaguest memory of trying to
Is the mullet a good, great, or horrible idea before we leave for college
He literally took a shit in my bathroom and then broke up with me.
Why does fireball set life on fire? Your insides, your head, your behavior...
Do not, I repeat, DO NOT uncuff him no matter how much he begs. He knows what he did.
Randomize
