After she swallowed she let out a hurge burp. No BS. I'm the cock of the walk.
I think you have the wrong number. But at any rate, respect.
so while trying to be a healthier drunk i discovered that putting airborne in natty is not an advisable decision
I walk of shamed back from his dorm in costume while his dad and brother were waiting outside to drive him home. his dad apologized to me. my life never gets old.
Well, I was going to ask you what happened to all my lipstick. Until I saw the giant red penis on my living room wall.
3 guesses about who had to still-drunkenly facilitate a fire drill at 2:40am because freshmen can't handle microwave popcorn.
sick fucks of a feather flock together
You need to simmer down or I'm going to buy you a labia leash.
She asked if I could convince him so shave that shit off his face so he'll have a snowball's chance in hell of getting laid.
Okay. thanks for sacraficing your body and risking aids for our snowcone business.
I don't know but someone, somewhere gave someone a hand job and someone else was pissed about it...
Curdled. you forgot that word. It was a curdled buttery nipple shot.
Can you find me some 'I threw up in my hair last night' medicine?
Plus he stuck it in when you were sleeping which would have been the tipping point for me but you art school kids are all liberal and shit
Those boxers don't belong to me anymore. They belong to the desert surrounding Phoenix.
I can't believe I'm going to buy bitcoin to pay for erection pills
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