Yesterday I was informed there is a jewish dating website called jdate, I'm considering joining out of academic curiosity
I think I just saw the travelocity gnome in leather chaps.
you passed out when you kept trying to hold your breath during the underwater scenes of 2012
I am like king midas for the gay community. everything I touch turns into a lesbian.
There's cake. And donuts. And strippers. It's like 5 year old me and 20 year old me are throwing a party together...
I was fine until "Under Pressure" came on the radio. It's like God wanted me to shit my pants on the drive home.
Apparently love is stronger than SoCo
I had to talk to the cops at my front door in a bathrobe, with the buttplug still in.
True friends don't judge, they just try to have more booty calls than you do.
You also hate cartoons and musicals, so I will take that to mean the movie was as awesome as I thought it was..smoke weed
I had to puke in a ditch beside a cow pasture and like 50 cows just stood there and watched. I could feel the judgment.
I already tell everyone in my office my bf is at the Naval academy. It slipped one time and I can't go back on it now
Oh man I knew I took that Molly too soon, talkin to some Scottish people lol but don’t like rollin in pizza restaurants.
I don’t know if I’m nauseous or just disgusted with myself.
I possibly am a tad bit not really but maybe slightly intoxicated.
Randomize
