I feel like people whose favorite movie is Donnie Darko should not be allowed to talk. Ever.
I told him to go down on me and when he did he started crying!! I asked him why and he said my vag looked just like his ex girlfriends!!!
Ever got a vibrator stuck in ur hair? Is worse that getting ur hairbrush stuck.
...well that sucks.
As a matter of principle, I waited until noon to start the drinking binge.
Europe's "the final countdown" was playing. It was pretty much amnesty for anything that might happen the rest of the night. It's a rule.
She kept pulling joints out of her bra and asking strangers for birthday hugs.
Your vase full of piss was still at his house and he still doesn't know.
If our sexual relationship was relative to the Harry Potter series, I would have claimed the Wizard's Cup at least ten times.
Do one night stands count towards my number?
Yes. A penis is a penis
Even bad ones?
YES.
Watching Supernatural does more for me sexually than the physical encounters with 90% of the men in my life.
I helped you wax your vagina and you won't even get me Corn Nuts you fucking bitch?
You literally brought me back to life and then fucked it out of me
my face feels like mints and my body feels like tingles
My drunk is wearing off and im starting to feel like this dolphin tattoo was a bad idea.
I am high. And my mom surpised me today. Now i am high and with my mom....bad idea
Randomize
