What did I say to him last night?
Something along the lines of "your not here, I'm going to fuck sam. call me later babe, this won't take long, love you"
all in all not a bad night
i just ate something from under my fingernail. i dont know what it was, but it tasted half decent
do people in england often walk their sheep on leashes? or is this guy the exception to the rule?
the guy at the pet shop just had an eye seizure while looking at my chest
I was thinking Sara Jessica Parker was hot. That high.
at one point last night, you were literally auctioning me off. "reeeally drunk hot girl ! we'll start the bidding at an ice cold corona. oh, we have a bidder! do i hear a shot of whiskey? going once, going twice.."
youre welcome
Is it bad to get into the ocean at night? i always thought sharks hated the smell of vomit after drinking
This from the guy I found eating salad out of a pot lid in his boxers on his porch last night.
she tried to handfeed me fritos while yelling "PENIS TRAIN"
Call me old-fashioned, but I don't think the words, "Finger my ass" should find their way into casual conversation.
Lets ignore the fact that you want to turn your dorm room into a sex dungeon and focus on the real issues here.
I awoke this morning alone and naked in my bed I forecast my date later not going so well because I have three giant hickies on my neck there is a note next to my bed that looks a 3rd grader wrote it on my college acceptance letter
Handcuffs are allowed in carry on luggage :) just checked
Oh my god there are animals here. There are actusal animals trying to get him. A giraffe is trying to get in. A giraffee is trying to get in. Is ridiculouss.
So, if you were also having sex around 11pm, then we were legitimately being penetrated at the exact same time. That is amazing. We are soul sisters.
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