everytime someone famous vagina shows up in pics, i have to go check my own vagina to make sure mine dont look all wrinkledy and flabby like that....i want my lips plump and succulent
i just carried on a conversation with my mother from another room mid-ejaculation. you would have done the same
Ughh on my way to the bathroom now... literally just puked on myself and cleaned it off with a hot dog bun... I love tailgate
Well on a lighter note, guess who just threw up in the elevator
ONE NIGHT STAND. You have 27 minutes before the offer expires, so I suggest you hurry.
Well he has a girlfriend. So I told him that I wanted to have sex way more than I wanted to be a decent human being.
It was honestly the most delicious alcohol I've ever drank, plus the added risk of going blind from methanol poisoning really enhanced the experience.
Blood and glitter go together right?
I'm just gonna use that pot butter as dip for chips. That's fat, American AND stoner!
direct quote from andrew "you know i can't hear when i drink whiskey"
On my way home from the dentist. Was going to call and see if you would like to wake and bake, then remembered my sister is an adult
last night we were hooking up when all the sudden he just murmured "mm blonde". i don't know what to think about this situation.
Who's the captain of your team? Captain Morgan as usual?
And me
i was asked to be gay of honor by three different girls and NONE of the groomsmen at any of the weddings is open to experimenting. i mean whats the point then.
I'm driving to his house to eat chicken and hopefully have an orgasm
Randomize
