I want to kish your cheek
My cheeks are in Michigan
Oh my lips are kind of stretchy
hey babe thanks for tonight, it was fun.
to be honest, i wanna fuck your friend.
I should have known there'd be issues when he included "beautiful soul" in our playlist
you kept insisting that i was jake gyllenhaal and you were heath ledger.
Okay, good. And if you have one of those portable strip poles that would be nice too.
im trying to stop thinking of him and his amazing dick. every time i do i snap myself with a rubber band. classical conditioning at its finest...and you said i wouldnt learn anything from psychology.
This bitch flirting at the bar needs to close her legs and open up a book. I can literally feel my IQ dropping every time she bends down to show her tits.
Jealous?
Very.
I just explained it as we hate everyone in the world more then we hate each other. Thus making us friends. Plus we drink...a lot
I think drinking is the foundation of our friendship
You left me a drunk voicemail of you describing your pizza to me at 2 AM
I'm not trying to analyze you I'm just saying you are being unfair to soup
I just got to my parents hungover as hell. My dad could tell and said "theres only one cure for a hangover" and handed me a beer. This morning went from a 0 to 10 in an instant.
Never underestimate the power of titties
I woke up with what has to be a whole pack of smarties loose in my bra. Was that your fault?
woke up with a tree in my apartment. also the everclear bottle is suspiciously low
suspiciously? i think one of those explains the other
I need more 20 something year old penis in my life
Randomize
