i get turned down more than a collar. where are the desperate bitches i need to crawl to them
our drinking schedule never changed, we just drank at work.
I just looked at all of our spring break pictures... there's a guy getting a blow job in the background of the ones on the beach.
They are providing beer and having a margarita machine. This cannot be passed up.
he just made me youtube cheetahs running and he thinks he is in a pool
You're going to have to buy me a lot of drinks before the bee suit goes on...
Currently coming up with judgment, the game. Works well on buses, will probably be more entertaining in bars.
Do you think I could put your penis on reserve for tonight or tomorrow night?
Ed's in which sucks about a thousand cocks... But thats 1800 less than working with Alex so it's gonna be a good day
By 11 pm the pants were off and there was no turning back. But on the bright side, you promised me your CDs when you died, you even signed a napkin saying so.
When did it become normal to wake up in the middle of the night to take a group bathroom break and have a 10 minute discussion on where the next football game is?
I peed my pants walking home last night... I just kept walking.
I can't. I mean he's hot, but there's really nothing else there
You just said he's hot
NO YOU DON'T UNDERSTAND
How I know that I'm single: when I get a save the date for a wedding & I read "& guest" my first thought was does my bottle of Jack Daniels count.
My roommate made maccoroni last nigh dropped the bowl off the counter knocking it into the dog bowl he picked up the dog bowl and started eating it claiming it was te worst Mac and cheese ever and if he wasnt so high he would stop eating it hahahaha
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