can we please move this conversation out of my vagina?
he just told me his nickname was "nickexplodeon"
does that mean he doesn't last long?
When you're opening a bottle of tequila with a golf club, it's probably time to stop drinking...
Even after projectile vomiting watermelon on the beach, it still sounds appetizing.
Never again will we have slut saturday. Never.
I dont think he stole the pillow. I mean if he wanted a souvenir, my thong was on the nightstand.
Dude..this is the third year in a row me and him have fucked at a super bowl party..does that count as a tradition?
I don't think boys are aware how difficult it is to take a picture of your own ass.
REALLY should have cleaned under my bed before I had my parents come help me pack...things my parents just found: several condoms and a bottle of lube. My mom when she found a condom: "ooo ribbed. Laura's a lucky girl"
I woke up naked to an alarm set for 11:18 pm and missing a shoe. How was your night?
We got a noise complaint for vacuuming too much but not for getting really high and yelling about peanut butter
Don't worry, I'm not gonna try making you Eskimo sisters with your mom
In other news, my ex fuck buddy is a surprisingly good wingman.
last night someone said that theyd like to do drugs with a dolphin ... judging from the diagram on the wall we figured it out.
all we need now is a dolphin ... and some drugs.
He was someone so memorable that I'd completely forgotten he'd existed up to and during the encounter
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