So, how was the dinner
Just like the ex wife, cold, fatty, and expensive.
planned parenthood is perfect for picking up chicks...they all put out
I'm not a pervert.. I just like to be naked...
We convinced you to take a shot out of the sponge...there were still suds in it.
I'm covered in mustard and it looks like I nose dived in to barbed wire ??? Was last night that good?
I feel like I should be doing a victory lap around my house to the rocky music, or zapping and smiting people with my mystic wizard powers
I'm shaved like a Brazilian hooker right now.
I have the flu.
I don't give a shit
I bought left over pizza from a guy on Craigslist.
All I'm saying is the next time I see him naked, there better be something in it for me that doesn't end in bailing him out of jail.
you seriously don't remember..? but then again, you were taking shots by yourself for like 30mins
We broke the bed while I was handcuffed to the headboard and let's just say that was a hard one to explain to the RA
Note to self: Calvin Klein's are not safe to shit in.
Oh and people at work think i got knocked up so my gay roomie is claiming it as his lol
how do I say, without sounding slutty... That I can take a dick?
I woke up to a gigantic ft-long tootsie roll and a note by drunk me with the words "you're welcome"
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