I got date raped at Sigma Chi last night!
Dude, you never made it to Chi last night. You fell into a tree and passed out.
hey can you give me head? jesse told me that you're really good
who is this?
jesse's little brother
i have yet to find a random guy that would make me want to do any position besides missionary, these are what normal people call "applying standards"
I'm not saying he's gay. Just that he prob knows what a dick tastes like
You took all of my sister's dolls and threw them out the window and then you started talking to her etcha sketch and mr. potato head. I later found you passed out in front of Toy Story and it all made sense.
we saw you sitting at the door of the dorm trashed, wrapped in DANGER tape with a stolen balloon around your wrist
I just found out that my father was a Human condom for halloween when I was 4. And to think I used to wonder where my sense of humor came from.
i licked the inside of a toilet bowl for $14. i really can't talk about my night.
someone just sent me a bong wrapped in christmas paper in the mail. signed 'santa'.
Lesson learned. Whipped cream will eat through a condom.
for future reference mormans are hard to crack but they give fucking amazing hand jobs.
12 trash cans filled with water. Beer cans floating in each, 12 ft apart. Dodgeball. Ultimate beer pong.
Rules. We have to wear superhero outfits
Slutty summer 2013 has officially started. I did accidentally bite a dick though.
Is it sad that my idea of a quality foursome would involve one person eating me out while the other two rub my feet?
I didn't expect the hobit to have that much sexual tension.
Randomize
