Welp...herpes.
he wouldnt have sex with me because his guild had a misson on world of warcraft.
Actually, all he talks about is how great the sex is with her and how crappy you were at it. Stop being a bitch and gossiping masking it as self-righteousness.
I know it's not your turn to do the dishes, but since they're covered in your puke, it is.
2am update: i think I'm in Mexico but I found a dennys. Everyone but this cute family of 4 is speaking Spanish. Cute family of 4 is helping me out.
When that rick ross song came on he started ripping up dollar bills and pouring out drinks on the floor. I'm all for ignorance but it was a little excessive for a wedding
It hurts to peel the glue off my chest and i keep finding glitter in my hair.
I just wanted to decorate you...
Well at least it wasn't the first time I threw up out of a second story window
Just walked into a random hotel for the free breakfast. How was your night?
I hate that you live in a gated community. I feel your guard judges me every time I go to your house at 3 am an leave at 5am
I asked him if we could hang out sometime when we weren't hammered. He said he'd email me his number... that's when I knew I was going to die alone
She makes margaritas with lemon-lime 5 hour energy..thats brilliant
and you were wondering how she got into Harvard
I farted in his bed and then in my drunken stupor grabbed hair defanging spray to cover up the stench.
he couldn't get a boner so he asked me to sing you shook me all night long to his penis. I think it was weirder that it actually worked
After he came, he took a two minute power nap and then fucked me for another 45 minutes. He is a machine!
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