I just got a facebook invite to join a group called "bring back the old franzia spout." i never want our generation to grow up.
Just woke up to find myself cooking eggs on the imaginary stove in my room.
They both just did a shot, head butted each other, did another shot and then slapped each other in the face. These could be the two guys we've been looking for all our lives
Dont forget about the tuna sandwich behind your TV
Just write off about 10000+ brain cells and 6 months of your lifespan.
Sounds like a normal friday night
He called me while he was having sex and asked if I wanted to go get mcdonalds
I ended up with a gash in my head from drunken dancing last night. I love life.
As an added realisation of today. If we used the last time I got laid as a conceiving date I would have a two week old baby. It's been too long...
C'mon pople!!! THursday afternoon isnot gonna drinkin itself!!!
also somebody did cough syrup and i was really worried but i couldn’t express why properly so i was like MACKLEMORE SAYS NO
He's not drinking on his 21st. Shooting vodka infused Nerf bullets at him would just make a mess and I don't want to be a creep and spike anything... I don't understand awkward boys
I've fucked him twice and literally had no idea that he's missing a thumb
I pretty much just wake up, masturbate at least twice, and go to the beach. #Unemployed. I do look for jobs in between all that tho.
First. I had the strength. Now. I am the death.
I told him. He hasn't said anything. Crying and holding cats is probably what is happening.
Randomize
