So I fucked that hot french guy last night
You do know he's the one who threw up on our table, right? You get to clean it up.
He literally didn't stop until I lost count of how many times he made me orgasm. It took three hours.
So I'm up to masturbating three times a day, drunk textin my ex, not doing any hw and I've failed half of my tests so far
Sounds better than last semester
why is my underwear the only thing i was wearing that smells like vodka?
I'm sorry for the texts and anything that I said that may have caused confusion, pain or irritation. I shall not be drinking again. Furthermore I will not be keeping a phone on me should I fail to adhere to the prior statement.
I'll answer your question with a question: Are you gonna be too high?
Drink a bottle I wine by yourself? Treat yo self
Text me all the things you want us to do this summer. So far, I have Kegstand written down
You were definitely drunk. You gave him an otphj in front of everyone.
Mom and I are both drunk and walking around the Strip. It's like the hangover but with a lot more bathroom breaks.
he has to serve us drink and appetizers in his french maid costume for the Pirates game tonight. Bring everyone.
This morning I found four opened yet full beers on my desk and my towel rack pulled off the wall and in bed with me
So I'm texting her. How do I steer the conversation toward "I honestly would be fine never seeing you again"?
MY INSIDES ARE BASICALLY BEING WRUNG BY A CHAINSAW IM NEVER TAKING PLAN B AGAIN
I never thought I could be this turned on by a man wearing racoon tails.
Randomize
