I think we should see other people.
Already working on it.
Our hot neighbor just came over and asked for a toilet plunger...not so hot anymore
The only thing that would make my night better is if William Shatner came and read me a bedtime story.
Its like everytime i see you, my vagina gets a heartbeat.
you think that next time i come over to do this you can pick up the condom wrappers you used on the other girls
there's a liquor store near my therapist
i might give it a shot.
all i remember is walking in on u shitting and crying listening to shawty get loose. its safe to say this break up has taken a toll on u
Going to the u of w I constantly have that moment of, oh hey I felt you up at that rave at folk fest that one time. Winnipeg is too small.
Beer and tomahawks! Not gonna end well!
Jailed a totally belligerent hot guy. That was probably my most thorough pat down. Ever.
We joked about how funny it would be if he got pulled over with 300 breakfast burritos in hus car. We walk outside of the school just as the police lights turn on and pull him over
But I got head on a boat yesterday which was sweet until a bald eagle flew over. Then it became life affirming.
Honestly who turns down a free blowjob?
You can't be mad... I'm letting you jerk off in my parents shower
Rum and your dick are involved. You're relying on the unreliable narrator.
Randomize
