Is it bad that Pitbull has taught me more Spanish than high school did?
Maybe you should go over there and lead him on and reach down his pants like he's about to get some and yank his balls.
That's the best idea I've heard all day.
i literally paused in the middle of it, turned on my light, pointed to the picture netxt to my bed and go "you hooked up with my roommate too!!! AWWW!" he was so weirded out. i don't think he understands the relationship we have..we share..
Please check on her. She announced that Thursday she'd open herself to any veteran so as to thank them for their service. "my services for your service" and left the bar with three numbers.
If he really loved his girlfriend then he'd wear a condom when he fucks me.
I just sent her mug shot out in a mass text because I hate her and her cocaine eyes are hilarious.
My mouth feels like I've been chewing on leather and firecrackers for the past 3 days
I'm an EMT, not a miracle worker. No, I can't fix your sprained dick.
at work, .. 47 yr old boss was in a fight. 2 BLACK EYES. I may get fired. I cant stop laughing
Yeah, first date. First take a pic of him to circulate around for your friends and than have him fill out a short penis questionnaire. Seems completely legit to me.
I told my boss that I'm in a slutty stage of my life right now and the chef overheard and slipped me his number. I might get laid tonight
HELP! I GOT DRUNK IN THE LIVING ROOM AND CANT GET UP UPSTAIRS
Pretty sure we're going to get a cease & desist notice from the Make A Wish Foundation, but until then...
I’m on my third beer doing poppers in the shower to no doubt
I am really drunk and also a zombie.
Randomize
