Grinding on my ninth grade teacher. Dreams really do come true
you know that annoying kid in my psych class? accidentally hit him in the face with a door today. perfect end to the semester.
It's almost summer. We need to start reconnecting with our home drug dealers.
I'm having post traumatic stress flashbacks of last night. That big. Don't know whether to call him again or change my name...
I feel miserable and there's nutella all over my phone
Finally hooked up w/ that yoga instructor chick. Got a little more than I expected. Like a full on bush more than I expected. How do you tell a girl that her bush scares you?
Fuck I am starving. I don't think I've eaten in the past two days.
You didnt need to. Gin is like eggs, its a perfectly nutrionally balanced meal.
The problem is drunk me is completely unaware how poor I am
I know my whole body feels like I belly flopped onto concrete. Seriously need to tone it down for a while
Puke, feathers, beads, and solo cups all on my way to class. I'm surprised anyone's alive after this weekend.
Is it frowned upon to puke at Keeneland while you're betting on horses or is it just whatev
Prop 8 repealed and I FINALLY got my period. Good day for America!!!
How would your parents feel if we installed a sex swing?
Just go read my twitter... There's a play by play. It starts with a penis pump
Oh like it's the first time I've had a bowl of wine
Randomize
