He's prob getting laid right now and I'm sitting alone in my duct tape shoes.
You know, I had the money for a pregnancy test, but at the time, tacos were more important.
CHAZ BONO WILL BE ON THE NEXT SEASON OF DANCING WITH THE STARS.
Internet Is back!
MY NEWS TRUMPS YOURS.
I took a few sips of my hugeee bottle of liquid Vicodin and smoked my one hitter and now I'm going thru my attic like Indiana Jones
The highlight of your blackout was when you drunk showered with the garden hose and emailed your boss your vacation requests for the next year.
He's such a champ. He puked on purpose just so he'd be coherent enough to roll this blunt
Plus, it's just valuable. Virgin pee is very well-priced.
100 proof captain the only man who can make me strip during a snowstorm
he didn't stitch me up last time. in fact, he yelled at me for bleeding.
just like cleaning my room and being more organized in my life. more so just making sure a toaster doesn't end up in my car again for 2 months
Yeah she's a complete bitch. But I mostly hate her because she hijacked my fuck buddy.
Would it be creepy if I masturbated with my face in the pillow he slept on last night? Cuz I'm pretty sure that's about to happen
Are you seriously getting this frustrated over a hand-job right now?
Remember, I smoked so you wouldn't have to. I'm like the Jesus of Marijuana.
And you tried to get me to have sex with you in our Harry potter closet lol
Randomize
