Going to spend my cab money on more shots and just take the ambulance home
if i get the "i'm engaged" text one more time, i'm going to shoot myself in the face so my cats won't eat it when i die alone.
so I just used the H1N1 mask my mom gave me for college to hold in a bong hit longer... god I love orientation week
Skanksgiving break is awesome already... pilgrim and indian roleplay tonight.
wait a second... your telling me you want me to take you to the bank at 10 on a tuesday so you can buy a blow up pool and fill it with beer?
yes... and buy you lunch
we usually just have an Easter beer hunt and never end up at church anyways
I always know the weekend is over when the real license comes out and the fake goes back into the hiding spot.
i just went 2 months without giving head... thats like two months without coffee. or two months without sun.
you know who we are? We're the female white stoner version of Kenan and Kel.
Seriously, come get him. He's not even a person anymore. He's a loud, drunk, cock-blocking wrecking ball.
Lets just say I chased with a burrito.
This is the second girl that said she wanted to fuck me while wearing a clown nose. Fuck online dating
Woke up on the couch with one cowboy boot on and a hat over my crotch. God bless texas.
I'm floating on a 30mph cloud right now not giving a fuck
The room got awkwardly silent right as i yelled "leave him alone! I know plenty of straight guys who like to suck dick!"
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