i just want his dick, seriously i'm about to take trifiling lessons. we'll call my alter-ego blair and she will screw his brains out, girlfriend or not.
Either your mom needs to stop making spagetti or we need to lay off the anal. I cant tell you how much im in pain.
Spagetti cuz im not giving up the other one.
1 month til my stepdad becomes a u.s. citizen, so if you want to get in on the divorce pool its your last chance, $5 a square.
Glad we went casual last night, made my 1pm walk of shame through Walmart a little less obvious
I made out with all three roommates...I didnt realize that was actually an awkward situation.
I really gotta be careful. My email inbox is equal parts notifications from instructors and this dude's dick. If I get drunk and reply to the wrong thing I might get kicked out of grad school.
But seriously he was like a god with his hands. My vagina feels annointed.
Way too stoned bro. Was laying down on my back and thought for a good 30 mins what it would be like to be a turtle stuck on its shell
I don't understand how these people can do extreme gymnastics and I have problems walking up the stairs.
Find me a cup with a lid so I can illegally drink in your car. I'll be there in bout 10 minutes.
Just spent 10 minutes washing away my own puke. This gas station lady loves me.
He's so sweet...I can't see him enjoying that I got injured during sex.
Why can I remember how tall Nicki Minaj is from looking up her height once months ago, yet after weeks into the semester I can't even remember where any my classrooms are located
Importance
But like, I don't remember getting hit with the door... I just come out from peeing and there was blood running down my face.
Oral sex and brunch. The perfect sunday morning.
Randomize
