She was walking with the authority that 2 beers gave to a light weight.
Best idea ever: Giving hobos a beer and having a chugging contest to win another beer. Most fun I have had downtown in a while.
then again I'm sitting on a tree stump completely naked in the dark listening to some type of glee soundtrack.
You tried telling the RA that girl you brought home was your mom...
should my break up email to my English professor be in MLA format?
Gonna bang his former student. Clearly I am winning this breakup.
I dont know but I had two different hospital bands and half a pie when i woke up.
You puked on yourself, then demanded to take shower. In which you kept saying "its raining"
I feel like there should be a 'roommate information section' of the paperwork when there's a chance you'll be given pain killers.
Never in my life did I think i would give a blow job in the bathroom of my old elementary school. Twice.
BOOM BITCH SERVES YOU RIGHT I HOPE YOU SHIT YOURSELF PETER PAN
im gonna shove his purity ring down his throat
There's a bull to ride and dancing on the bar is encouraged. This is my heaven. And this is why god made leopard tube tops.
Got my period and a UTI on the same day. Fuck you, Sunday.
He is married, and has a regrettably large penis. I need to find another one right away to get myself out of this mess.
How big does a penis have to be before it becomes regrettably so?
Randomize
