that drag queen yelled at him and touched me to make him jealous and said things like this is what a real man feels like. it was a thrill.
Shes from jersey what did you expect her to say when you asked her if she did coke? Its like asking some1 from a third world country if they are hungry
so i was sitting on this guys lap, and we were flirting and everything right..well his phone kept ringing, turns out it was his pregnant wife...she had gone into labor..
is it wrong that i plan on stealing a few pipecleaners from my preschool classroom to clean my bowl?
You realize we can hear you jacking off in your room, right?
I like it rough
walking through the french quarter. a homeless guy just offered me a pigeon. gotta love new orleans.
Check that he is NOT ok. He just heated up SoCo and used it as syrup on his pancakes.
He told everyone he was going inside...an hour later we get a knock on the garage door from some dude telling us a guy is passed out on the lawn and we should get him inside because it's about to rain
I can't be drunk. Sober yes. Drunk no. Spoonfuls
I just saw a guy in a sombrero and holding an inflated blow-up doll in all her "glory" get escorted out of the mall. I hate Marley.
Why do you hate her?
She's dating the best penis that has ever entered my vagina.....
Somewhere in this city is a lost rubber penis that needs to find its way back home
Even his sexts are poetic. He said breasts instead of tits so I'm gonna lock this shit down asap
Should I apologize for the loud sex I had in his living room? Because I'm not going to.
Definitely not.
and i thought it was paint or jizz but it was cheese
please tell me you didnt taste test that
Randomize
