You blewit but ill be back in laekciew tonigthso calll mee
would you ever date a girl who drove an 89 Chrysler LeBaron? - for the record it's a convertable
how should i go about explaining the hickey i drunkenly gave myself last night?
He came on my face. Threw a towel at me. Stole my weed. And left. I thought this would be over after we graduated?
If thou arrisest to consciousness before I, rise me to an office of alertness for occupations such as brunch. Warm Regards, your roommate.
I love you more with every blowjob.
You should write for Hallmark.
Only you could walk of shame to a childrens pirate themed birthday party
I dont know what we smoked last night but I woke up and found out I started writing a book called White Trash Princess. Its the best thing Ive ever read
Your stories are the best. I feel like you're a spy among the heteros. It's not fair.
I actually want to work out for some reason... I think it's my brains way of telling me it doesn't like living in a fat body.
god it feels good to gold a bottle of opiates again.
I think that typo was actually more appropriate than what you intended.
Hey, I think I showed you a picture of my nephew while we were fucking last night. Sorry, I know it's weird, I just really love that kid. Again, sorry.
I was struggling morally, but once I let go, I came pretty hard.
I dont remember you getting a condom thrown at you. I think I had a concusion
I'm in the fetal position trying to figure out a way to get someone to deliver me pancakes.
Randomize
