Just got my econometrics book in the mail and started flipping through it. Our Thursday parties may turn into u convincing me not to kill myself.
I need to hang out with girls who make more mistakes
found a cell phone. in the freezer. wrapped in bologna. explain?
If i had 4 hands right now is have booze in 3 of them and my cock in the other all because you went to denver. just sayin.
Saturday morning. Went into a study room excited b/c some1 had left a paper w/ an inspirational quote: YOU ARE cApable of aChieving anything yoU waNT. Then I read the bold letters.....
I know how I'm going to make my fortune.. designing an icepack made specifically for the vagina.
No. I heard a cover of "my heart will go on". This is not sanity.
Just saw some dude tumble down the stairs of the bar while leaving...fist pump...and then sprint down the road
I have my vibrator between my thighs and I'm listening to high school musical. That kind of high. We're all in this together.
I was about to share my drunken story from the weekend, but two friends getting married and one finding out she's pregnant makes Saturday in jail look a little suspect.
HE STARTED HUMMING THE THEME TO STAR WARS!! WHILE I'M SUCKING HIS DICK!!
And that was the night we had mind-blowing sex with the score from Raiders of the Lost Ark blaring on vinyl in the background...
He told me he was gonna go wash a trailer and somehow I ended up eating vodka fruit with children in a green bean field.
Fun fact. A penis can be used to catapult cheetos.
I mean, I want you to have freaky orgasmic fun to entertain me, but I don’t want you to risk HIV or car crashes
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