who cares. he's ugly and has a dick this big -->
I had so many friends before that round of Never Have I Ever.
So what's the moral of this story? Aside from 'lesbians hold grudges'?
im trying to pick out the cookie crumbs from my adderall. it is a lot harder than it seems.
Guess who's still drunk but on time to court to represent a DUI?
You are my hero
phone sex would be way better if there was an app for that...
He's drinking red wine in a margarita glass. He couldn't be more perfect for me.
I don't know bro, all I could remember is that he kept saying hallelujah and calling that girl Slutimus Prime
Convincing a cop that you have diplomatic immunity is way harder in Dallas than in Serbia. And you get fined for attempted bribery.
yesterday you declined a drink because you "didn't want to be responsible for it" ok kanye...
Attempting to sleep without a bra since i got my nips pierced wish me luck. Also almost sent that to my coworker.
The funny part was that the cop pulled us over cause the park was closed, not because I had just come up from giving the guy a blowjob when the cop drove by.
He's balder, I'm skinnier. I win. I. Win.
the next morning we realized we didnt speak the same language... guess i subconsciously did learn a little german last semester. thanks study abroad.
ah the experiences a semester in Vienna can give you. Frau would enjoy knowing that even while sleeping during class you still managed to learn enough german to get laid
I just thought I should tell you that I always know what you are doing. Everywhere. Every time. -Your loving Mother
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