My mind says no, but my body says yes.
What does your body say about chlamydia?
Her cum face looks like the large marge scene in pee-wees big adventure
just got out of a noise viloation because the cop recognized my roomate as his favorite chipotle burrito roller. just another reason I love ritos
im pretty sure all they do is fuck. and talk in baby talk. its two babys fucking basically.
I'm drinking keystone with a homeless man I found. It's making me feel uncomfortable.
Did they have a limo or was i just stoned?
I know you think I'm being paranoid, but can you please make sure Danny doesn't rub my wedding invitation on his balls?
Its official the day you get back into town we are having a going away to jail party for me. My last wish before prison is to shit faced drunk with you, get into a fist fight, and then cuddle up and fall asleep. Just like old times <3
Let's just not urinate on things that don't need to be urinated on
Bro, did you watch that scooby doo porn I sent to you?
Not only did my parents pick me up from his hotel room in the morning, but he also came outside and had a casual little chat with my dad through the driver's side windrow.
he went down on me to a drake song and now i think i need a penicillin shot
going on a mission to find my pants and the guy who stole my beer don't wait up
ever since I turned 21 the mother-daughter bonding sessions always end with whiskey and my little pony. I don't know why, it's just a thing that happens
He woke me up because I was snoring and went for a second round. First time I'm happy that I snore
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