Farted during a conference call.SBD. permeated the room people were gonna puke.noone could say anything or leave cus we were on the phone with clients. coworkers were outraged.how I still have a job is beyond me.
If you're on a tempurpedic mattress do you think you can feel if someone is jacking off right next to you?
I think we should start referring to bisexuals as "strays"
I'm at the bar and they've turned up lady gaga to cover the sound of the fire alarm.
Yeah getting kicked out of the bar at 1 pm really set the tone for the day.
I hope this adventure ends at a hospital
You were sad because he was "taking it out on the plant"
Your roommate is pacing with a pen in his mouth flapping like a duck. That brownie got me fucked but not enough to understand this. Come back!
He does that
Day #3 of being the only sober person at the bar. This is depression.
An old lady WILL get vomited on today.
Until she magically finds a brain, I'm going to be a dick. Fair trade. She's a idiot, I'm an ass.
I want you to read this conversation tomorrow and be proud of the fact that you taught me how to decipher any drunk message. Good job.
I'm a college student and my dad gets more ass than I do..... do you see a problem here?
Tomorrow we start training our livers for St.Patrick's day. May God be with us.
I love you. Go after that dick
Randomize
