I don't get it.
Me neither.
But I masturbated to it anyway.
Todays outfit involves shorts with embroidered fish. This kids gonna die.
she tasted like a mixture of sweat and destiny
The bridesmaids just went smackdown on the floor, over the bouquet. I saw nipple. Best wedding ever
I was in bed at 845. Affairs take a lot out of people
Blonde 1 is sitting on the floor crying and blonde 2 is asleep with her face in the toilet. This isn't what I had in mind when they asked me back
She just kept introducing me to people by telling them which of their friends I've fucked
GET OVER HERE. HOTTIE ALERT
^^^This is why you should have charged your phone prior to going out.
id one day like to live in a world full of emotionless and wonderfully fullfilling sex...
Just got arrested in my crocs and rolled up pants with a mr rogers sweater for literally fucking nothing can u come get me?
We just won 1800 at the casino and are going to the strip club. Who gives a fuck if it's 5pm
I'm waiting for your stupid pizza and this 400 lb drunk man is behind me singing the acapella version of Elevation by U2
I take Paypal, cash, sexual favors, and roasted red potatoes with garlic as payment. You choose.
I'm glad you found someone that both loves you and is cool doing coke off your tits. Proud of you.
Sunday morning breakfast with the boyfriends family. I just puked in the stall at Cracker Barrell. Classy.
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