ok 1 i realized people actually live in central wisconsin and 2 culvers could be a good place to pick up chicks today
I just found 22 drunken videos and 4 naked pictures on my phone. We'll start the bidding at $5
he came so fast he could have be employed at jimmy johns
Dental hygienist just pulled two flakes of glitter out. And asked me how i've been doing with the divorce.
Well it went from being a hug to a straight out tackle through the back door.
judging from the lines on my body they wheeled me back in a shopping cart
He was drinking hot tub water because i refused to get him a glass of water...
Well I went on a freakin rampage and destroyed a fan and claimed that it wasn't doing its fan duties... Then I knocked on everybody's doors in the hall and asked if they were content with their fan's performance and if not I would take care of it...
Just fucked in a kitchen. I never want my penis that close to knives, stoves, or blenders ever again.
You broke the end off a wine bottle, ran outside and screamed "FOR NARNIA!!"
lost her for two hours. she was banging a russian guy in her car in the parking lot. he told her she was majestic.
I'm standing on the corner in a banana costume and cape with frozen bananas in my utility belt reassessing my life decisions.
It was an interesting experience to have sex while there was a triathlon going on right outside my bedroom window because it sounded like everyone is cheering for you in bed.
How supportive!
Because I chose to live vicariously through your uterus and you're letting me down right now.
I promise your sink was clogged before I threw up in it.
Randomize
