Gfs sis is in town. Its awkwardly obv that we want to fuck each other.
I just found out the guys at work had a bet as to who could sleep with me before i move away.
Who won?
All of them.
im dressed up like a present. waiting for someone to unwrap me ;)
this is your brother
Yes, I fucked her, no she wasn't that loose, yes she caused more drama than a 14 year old girl
she works at a police station now. i think thats the definition of keeping your enemies closer.
don't tell me I don't love her. i once slept with my girlfriends therapist, just to find out if she was cheating on me.
I just sniffled when I woke up and got a bump of coke. I have never felt so good hung over.
you force-fed me gummy vitamins while screaming "I JUST WANT YOU TO BE HEALTHY" i have never been so terrified in my life.
After we were finished she said "That was like marriage sex". Should I take that as a compliment or insult?
you strike me as the kind of person who when they spill something on their lap they take off their pants and eat it anyways. right off the crotch seam.
Nothing tops off the night like giving emotional and spiritual guidance to a 70 year old transvestite.
So I had sex in the woods today. Anything else that happened today? Irrelevant. It was a GOOD day.
He told me that after two hours of fucking he feels as though his dick wants to detach from his body and go to Mexico..
Is it weird that I was turned on when he told me he had a vasectomy?
I knew you two would hit it off
Dude I had my dad cock block me once
Randomize
