i luv seein jocks study. its like watching monkeys masturbate.
you decided to have a spaghetti fight but then you got greedy and decided to eat it all.
For sure. We should see if we can get Mike to pay for one, and have a triple kegger... :o==& (that's future me projectile vomiting. i try to be goal oriented)
all nice guys are gay and all hot ones are assholes
You're fat. Stop making excuses
She just did a bodyshot off herself. I don't care that it's only seven thirty, come pick her up.
Just stabbed myself in the face trying to lick melted cheese off a kitchen knife.
You should've come to the party. It was like an identity parade of everyone you screwed last year.
He used the phrase "no problemo" in a sext. It's over.
Also when i was high i would close my eyes and see a puppy on a grill having pancake batter poured on it.... And for whatever reason it was fucking hilarious.
So I dropped $130 while buying shots for an army ranger, got my fake taken, almost went to jail, and came out of my black out when I was talking to the cops with a stolen detour sign in my hands.
I'm gonna hop on that dick and ride it into the sunset
well you don't shave your pubes into a handlebar mustache and keep the party to yourself
I totally just pulled my thong out of my purse at the grocery store. Oops.
LET ME HAVE MY JUDGMENT OF OTHER PEOPLE
He was calculating the number of ceiling tiles when I was on top it was fucking rain man.
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