Is there a "Plan B" app for my iphone?
you were making out, puked over his shoulder and insisted everything was okay
When I got to his place, he served wine and cheese and made me sit on the balcony while he read his poetry to me. He cockblocked himself.
I woke up from my nap, looked out my window, and saw about bout 6 people get tasered in less than 20 seconds.....could someone please tell me what's going on.
Just got done fucking the squirter chick. She came when we were in a 69. I now know what it's like to be water boarded.
YOU CAN'T BASE A RELATIONSHIP OFF A PENIS
I LIKE HIS TONGUE TOO.
So we'll go out later for condoms and cake batter... aka grocery shopping for champions.
Let's just not urinate on things that don't need to be urinated on
I'm pretty sure "tag teaming" and "looking for stability" are not synonymous.
Not yet.
Last night I had sex with one of the groomsmen I was in the wedding with. In a stairwell. 13 years my senior. Thinking I should retire from the bridesmaid gig.
Well he fell three stories from the balcony and still had the strength to fuck me for 2 hours.
I found out his moms name, maiden name, profession, and office location, his dads name and profession, his home phone, picture of their house, all of his work profiles, and the cost of their house. All I'm trying to do is find his damn twitter
And tan into my neighbor in the elevator. She was going to the gym. I was covered in mascara and dog hair eating a hash brown
I woke up with your vibrator in my face
I guess it's part of life. Sometimes your ex boyfriend becomes a drag queen.
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