Drinking non-alcoholic beer is like going down on your cousin.
Sure it tastes the same, but it ain't right.
i'm thankful for my girlfriend's hot cousins....god, i love her family parties.
Fact: Telling a guy he has erectile dysfunction doesn't solve the problem.
I kept pulling the $1 bills off the stage and told everyone "no no no she has to work for this money"
Just realized I have to keep sleeping with him... those scars from drunk sex on the 4th of July are still on my back and lord knows I'm not about to explain that to another guy.
Human Centipede: The Drinking Game. This is non-negotiable. First one to pass out the rest of us get to FEEEEED THEM!
When I left you were in the shower in your socks throwing up screaming it was blood but it was "ok" cuz it's recyclable. By the way it was kool aid.
It's a lost cause. Soon she's gonna get naked, just let nature run its course
You are my mentor.
I drank wine out of a protein shake bottle last night. You may want to rethink that statement.
Yeah. Moral of the story: Don't mace yourself. It sucks dick.
My pubic hair is shaved into the shape of mistletoe.
I hope that's a joke and if not I need a snap of it
Sorry. My phone died in the middle of you explaining why we would never work as a couple. Whatever you were gonna say, I probably agree.
I mean if you can't appreciate a good looking dick then just get out.
you're the only girl i know who can be too sick to walk to the kitchen and still have enough game to receive multiple orgasms
we finally found him at 2 am. he was 3 miles from the house and tried running into the lake when he saw us pull up. i don't think he'll be taking ecstacy again any time soon.
Randomize
