eating raw peppers to burn the taste of semen out of my mouth
Random 1st period thought: do you think she could put "had a threesome" on her resume?
Seriously though, we're going to drink and watch Survivor first one to puke gets voted off the island
We had to introduce ourselves in ethics class. This guy stood up said I'm mark, I love sluts and Jack. Then just sat back down. Hero status.
I'm not gonna lie. having my legs shaved for me in the morning was a lovely surprise.
Second night spent with creepy guy. I either need to change his nickname or stop doing this.
Rain ponchos don't count as shirts at the bar. FYI.
Gong!
YOU'RE MARRIED NOW YOU CAN'T KEEP GONGING ME WHEN YOU GET LAID IT DOESN'T COUNT
adding to the list of how to lure in freshman boys: take dogs for a walk, yell at them from across the street, sit on the curb at 3 in the morning sobbing
Young lesbians are the worst. And also what got me through high school, sooooo
Just followed a blind kid around for 20 minutes to see how awesome his guide dog was. And he was pretty fucking awesome
all i've had to eat today is leftover bday cake and a shot of tequila.
welcome to college.
The bar would not accept my money. I have reached God status here
Stop making fun of my hookups!
Stop getting hookups that I can make fun of!
Dude my cat is eating sugar cookies with me. No joke. My cat likes cookies.
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