speaking of unleashing monsters, we need to get condoms
Her gag reflex was as absent as a father figure must have been in her childhood
HOLY SHIT HE'S TRYING TO EAT HIS FOOT. THIS IS THE BEST DAY OF MY LIFE.
There's a creepy homeless guy with no hand trying to get up on our tacobell order
oh no, don't get me wrong.. she IS really pretty. If you are in to horses or Sarah Jessica Parker.
That boy has a whole ocean of crazy lying just beneath the surface waiting to rise up, he's like the tar sands of crazy
And then she said "wanna make a vine of me twerking on the wall?"
Could you imagine living in a city where bartenders are available by 1:30 AM
I'd have like 4 kids by now and at least one std
You cried for a while then lifted lots of weights then cady's ex put glitter on your tits and then you took a nap. I got you pizza and brought you home. Nothing too exciting.
You okay? Last night you climbed through my window and demanded I take shots with you and when I refused you took a piss in my front yard.
that's your fault. you refused to take shots with me.
Make me food? I don't want to be a science experiment. I'm dunk. Holy shit. Drunk*. Let's do science.
For real his Facebook page says he studied "sexual arts" at some random college I've never heard of. You've been warned.
he's such a nice guy...he deserves a bigger dick.
She's got a shotglass necklace, running down the street asking people to "fill her up". Get here.
she said she was so hungover this morning in a way that sounded like she was apologizing for thinking she was attracted to me last night...
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