I molested 6 butterflies tonight
Yeah it was hard to find an opportunity while fucking him to say "oh the reason my lips taste so salty is because i blew your roomate 15 minutes ago"
Im just a social blackout drinker.
You are mentally unprepared to be exposed to my degree of perversion.
After some trial and error I found soaking my balls in maple syurip helps ease the pain.
We had sex on a lawn chair while fireworks were going off last night. It was unavoidable that I got mosquito bites all over my ass
Brett got me a cake with a pic of me shitting
I left when you were using your mug to lay on the street and ask for spare change
When i said i was brazilian i swear to god he started to tear up
That’s true love. If they recognize a chocolate mold of your anus.
I was not drunk enough for that final.
She stood up through my sunroof the entire drive home. screaming her ass off and singing free falling..
Man, I miss taking bong rips in my room. Now they are bringing dogs around so all my stuff is hidden in random places up in the woods. I literaly have to hunt and gather just to get high.
I just made myself 3 peanut butter sammies because I was too hungry to watch porn
honestly, fuck you guys. i'm gonna get drunk by myself
Randomize
