Sometimes, in the course of human events, people get lit on fire.
She made me role-play everything from an older prof to a in-patient in need of a medical exam. Yay for cocaine.
I swallowed for you. Answer the phone.
totally just got a week extension on my midterm by telling my prof that I had just found out I was adopted
I think I just asked the Greek gyro guy on a yoga date.
I'm figuring, since someone shoved pizza crust in my ear last night, there might be some leftover pizza.
Hey. There is naked girl with "plz don't touch her. She just turned 21" sharpied on her chest. What happened last night?
Do not shit in our house. There is no TP. I am walking to get more, if I do not return, I have probably died of dysentery after my last wagon wheel got stuck in a gulch. Tell Martha and Lou Ann that I love them, and that I passed away doing the Lord's work.
Still not sure if my open-bar-week-long-trip to Cuba is the best idea as a congratulations-for-my-sober-february-challenge. My liver might just explode and give up.
Two ladies just showed up with my fucking purse. It was in the fucking street. I'm a train wreck. As a financial advisor, this shouldn't happen. I should be an adult.
I have bruises all over my body. Seriously, I'm a train wreck. I'm too damn old for hangovers like this.
i would compare it to sliding down a velcro-covered fireman's pole naked. no more bearded men for me.
On another note I am sitting in my bed naked, buzzed, and working on a notecard for my 8:00am test tomorrow. I think I need to make better choices.
My vape juice got mixed up with the astroglide.
Wow..I bet that tasted bad.
Not tasted.
I hate that I still want him to look at me as the vagina that got away.
So I think my neighbor's name is Olli if I'm hearing the girl the girl he's fucking clearly
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