Ha. Yes. I'm at a strip club. I'm the barack obama of strip clubs
i wish starbucks made bloody marys
she is the female version of PC from the mac and pc commercials..i'll still hit tho
Dude you have to stop using "I eat good pussy" as a pick up line
Last night must have been awesome, my dog still smells like vomit.
From what I hear, her blowjob factory was runninng at full capacity this weekend.
We bought home drug tests to see which of us could make it look more like a kaleidoscope. What happened to the days of innocent fun trying to best everyone with a breathalyzer?
On 3 separate occasions, she grabbed my bullhorn to announce to the entire party she had fucked me.
she was trying to use her iTranslate app while we were having sex.
Exactly, there's no such thing as commitment at foam n' glow
Trying to put a fitted sheet on drunk is one of the boss levels of slutty adulthood.
How about we just have a naked taco night instead?
If you could come do me into like a 12 hour coma that'd be great
One a scale of one to hella drunk, how gracefully can I make it down those stairs
I'm a peeled potato compared to her. I'm a peeled potato compared to anyone. I'm a peeled potato.
Are you high?
Randomize
