no.. I went home. Puking up hot dogs and lemon tart isn't as lovely as it sounds.
That sound you heard was the sound of millions of brackets exploding simultaneously
All the walks of shame were condensed into the hour before parents started showing up. Move out day is so bittersweet
there's another hole in my ceiling...someone fell through the attic this time....
I think the duck is in my room. You have no idea how much worse a duck makes a hangover
come over after work tomorrow, liz and i will make all of your wildest dreams come true. so long as your wildest dreams involve drinking champagne at my house with two girls who won't have sex with you.
Noooo. We thought it would be funny for him to wake up buried in the sand. But we just remembered about the whole high tide thing and it's dark and it's pretty damn hard to find an unconscious head sticking out of the sand. Just help us out
Haha jealous. If I could remember my dreams I'm pretty sure they would constantly be about being drunk in foreign countries
It's now 8:05 on a Wednesday night and I'm already going home with my bra in my purse.
Why were you eating a hot dog in the bathroom at 230 am?
My roommate was sleeping, I thought it would be rude
Let's say hypothetically if you were going to put icing on a penis and then lick it clean...what would you ice it with? Not a knife right?
There is resin on and IN the refrigerator. Its even on the food. My god, what happens to you?
It's going to turn into you and me throwing down in a devastating lip-synch battle while everyone else stands around awkwardly.
Would it defeat the purpose of a run if I ran to McDonalds?
can you bring the lube to algebra tomorrow
Randomize
