Having a conversation over beer pong about a threesome I participated in...it's only Wednesday
Call me back. I want to hear your side of the dead cat in my garage story.
i'm officially boycotting relationships. hello random hook ups and treating men like meat.
Um, I don't really remember much about the event... and then I woke up on the metro..
He asked me if I could call his penis destroyer... Uhh SOS.
I'm getting to the point of going up to a guy and saying "Hi I'm maggie and i can put my foot behind my head"... That desperate.
My sister hid me from my parents, brought me a bloody mary, and told my girlfriend I was out with my dad. For 13, I got to say she's working out pretty good.
Tried to figure out where I was without opening my eyes this morning for like twenty minutes. Not even close. Not even the right state.
The fact that you think I have a life is so flattering to me.
Ice cream and condoms, solid grocery store trip
I DONT HAVE THE SOCIAL SKILLS TO EXPLAIN THAT YOU DIED EATING MY PUSSY
look, my penis is an amusement park, and it's closed for maintenance. why can't you just accept that?
listen. i haven't sucked a dick in well over three years but i believe in myself.
We need to feng shui this bitch.
dude you pointed at my dad's crotch and said I'd tap that. I didn't even know you were gay.
Randomize
