brb k???!! plz don't leave i want 2 tlk bout r rltnshp
he pointed at my clit and asked with a confused face, 'whats this thingy??"
Puked in the hotel lobby and just kept walking. I love mardi GRAS.
Today needs to die. The mail delivery guy watched me throw up in my yard while taking my chihuahua out in Christmas pajamas at noon. Low point in my life.
He's trying to marry me, when is the appropriate time to tell him my real name and that Dallas is a completely fictitious slutty alter ego? I need the advice of someone with morals.
Look. I've got things to do today.. Will you hurry up and come over so I can give you some head and get my day started already
Outside
so hungover. i just puked at the sight of the beer emoticon you sent me.
I'm not worried. All I have to do is not be the drunkest painter at 8:00. Golden.
As he was going down on me, I looked over his shoulder and said "ohh a Christian mingle commercial is on"
I DO have hobbies! I drink. I drink more. I catfish men on Grindr with photos of guys who are less attractive than me. I listen to Lovecraftian podcasts. I'm very well-rounded.
Sitting naked in my bed eating leftover Mexican food drinking coors light.. Can it get any more single than this?
I'm ne vrr drinkjng againnnnnnnn dforeal.
Opening my shipments of mascara and nipple pasties this morning like a boss bitch
The guy in the cage next to me is having phone sex. His girlfriend is in College Library. Why is my life ridiculous.
The smell of pee and coconut conditioner still makes me think of him
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