Sooo i definitely have a major burn on my chin from kenny's ...stubble from making out for hours while coked up. Pure class.
dude that girl has seen more cock ends then weekends
Its a sad when the highlight of your day is flicking a booger and actually getting it to stick to your computer monitor.
I just found all of my Mary-Kate and Ashley movies. Can you say drinking game?
just chugged some gatorade and threw it up. todays gonna be awesome
did i walk over a car last night?
Wanna go watch Transformers and scream "AMERICA!"? I need a no thought activity
That is the best grammar in a dirty text ever. Excellent use of the semi-colon. And yes; I am hard.
Just considered playing a drinking game with powerade with my sister so she would get some fluids in her. I do so well with sick people.
Only you could make a stripper uncomfortable by eye fucking her too much.
I watched Morgan Freeman explain the existence of nothing, now I'm afraid of sub - atomic particles. these egg rolls are outstanding
Btw I'm playing passed out so you can get laid but obviously you need to take the offense just ask him if he wants to go to bed and leave a cigg on the counter
Campus scavenger hunt! and by scavenger hunt I mean all the pharmacies are sold out of Plan B.
Got everyone out of my house, somehow managed to put all my lawn furniture back, puked in my sink, and cleaned it up all while black out drunk before my parents came home. Successful night.
Fuck your fuckin pumpkin spice. You and your subtle differences frighten and disgust me.
Randomize
