absolutely not. he will always be that kid that threw up a ham and cheese sandwich in fourth grade to me.
In the middle of fucking me, she said "Hold on, I need my Hulk hands."
She is putting glow sticks from her bedroom to the bathroom. She is calling it 'Being prepared'. God help us all tonight...
just mapquested my walk of shame from saturday..bye bye freshman 15
Who the fuck was that guy he kept pulling his dick out walking up to people trying to hand it to people and saying go ahead open the door like it was a door knob
Being drunk is way better. Seriously, I just licked your brother to make sure my spit was actually real.
Totally forgot we howled at the full moon last night... It's safe to say Tuesday Boozeday is my new favorite day of the week
Also there's a home game tomorrow and I thought about holding up a sign that says, "I madeout with #64 during orientation week" would that be inappropriate??
FUCK YOU AND YOUR WEAK ASS EYEBROWS
he never texted me back from last night. i think brining out the suction cup dildo was a mistake
Let's be real. I'm the Usain Bolt of running away after hookups. Fastest (wo)man alive.
Based on his face I'm positive he has a beautiful penis.
I know you like got hit by a car but do you want to come to my birthday pardi
Went to bed in my room fully clothed, woke up naked in the kitchen with the dog looking unamused.
i got drunk and started dancing with the plant because you were out of town
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