Not good, Ive never been this late. We need to talk.
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I'm pretty sure she sent a group text out saying that I was the one to get with her last night and sorry to everyone who didnt make it.
Honestly it was an honor just to be nominated.
my hangover today makes thursday's feel like a bubble bath.
i wish we had morning classes together so we can spike our coffee.
Whoever put the tambourine in the dryer is a douche. Worst hangover wakeup ever
was it me or did you scream 'champagne motherfucker' when you punched him in the face ??
Hate sex is good. Drunk sex is better. Combine those two however and you get the best experience of your LIFE.
Is it malicious or apart of the healing process if I wipe my ass with his toothbrush?
From now on, you must never doubt my ability to go from drunken rambling lovesick girl to Stepford wife within the course of a few hours.
Watching this game makes me realize that we have yet to do Skype shots. What kind of long distance alcoholics are we?
Because bro, I don't want your dick being touched mid conversation.
I can still be you friend and be there for you. And sometimes get drunk and fuck you.
I'm naked on my couch and just ate a chip that was in my belly button.. my 20s have been weird.
I should buy myself lingerie for Valentine’s Day instead of a present for you because I am the present
Laying in bed naked is fun. I now see why guys love boobs... They're sooo bouncy! This long distance relationship is really killing my sex life.
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