please take me off your list of people to text when you don't want to drink by yourself.
Do you think girls in gamma phi sit around and think about how much they suck?
this chick on a show just showed her boobs and let some guy paint them others asked why she did it and her reply i quote "i was bored" why dont chicks get bored more often
I fucked my boyfriend 15 minutes before my pap test. My gyno probably thinks I hate her.
whenever music plays i find myself always doing kegels to the beat. its like the new foot-tapping
And you just kept trying to fit through the dog door and not drop Jello shots.
I'm sorry I put you in the washing machine. I honestly thought you would fit.
You leave me no choice. Your vagina is grounded. It can just sit there and think about what it's done.
His morals are debatable, but his heart or perhaps his penis is in the right place.
His penis is crooked. Right place? Maybe he starts there, but then he slants.
nothing says "functioning mature adult" like sneaking beer out of your mom's fridge in a lunchbox
So I feel like I should feel objectified by your comment about my boobs but instead I just feel proud. 21ST CENTURY FEMINISM, BABY
I feel like if tampons weren't meant to be microwaved, they'd have a warning on the box, so we should be okay...
I almost tased myself
I dont think you should own that device.
It's an awesome device. I love this device.
We are such grown women, dealing with life's problems one shower beer and reckless makeout session at a time.
I pay 3K a month for rent, yet last nite I broke into the back of my building, scaled over 2 tons of garbage in heels and took a dirty freight elevator to my floor just so my doorman wouldn't see how fucked up I was
U know ur prob on camera right?
Randomize
